I’ll tell you what, I’ve never felt so much like clay on a potter’s wheel as I did in the year that just passed. Pulled, flopped, mashed, squeezed, reshaped - all while spinning fast enough to take my breath away. Nothing was delicate. Everything familiar was carelessly upended. My 3D world - which wasn’t perfect but at least made sense - turned into a Picasso painting literally overnight.
At this point I’m not going to go into all the details, mostly because I’m not completely sure yet what they all are. I think I will have to take some time first to sort through them all and see what shape comes out. I will say that things seem to be steadying once again, and we are walking, armed with faith, into the new year and a new chapter.
I am not sorry to see 2017 go, but I wouldn’t trade what I’ve learned through it for the world. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean.
I’m coming out of this last year having gained a much stronger knowledge of a few things than I had going into it: One, plans and perspectives are fragile and can turn on a dime. They’re certainly not the sure foundations we sometimes make them out to be. There’s a much better Rock than these inconstant things to build on... Two, finding the things that really matter and clinging to them like your life depends on it can be difficult and painful, yet strangely satisfying. Three, finding the things that you can’t control and letting them blow as they will is also strangely satisfying. And four, God knows what He’s doing, especially when we don’t, and He’s a GOOD Father.
I can’t even tell you how grateful I am for His loving kindness, His patience, His wisdom, His attention to detail, His SOLIDNESS. Wow. The love He has shown, sometimes through the well-timed (and sometimes unknowingly given) support of a friend, and sometimes just from Himself, when everything else is sinking sand, and I’m flailing and I have to hang on to something that isn’t whirling, and He’s there - it’s a beautiful thing.
So it’s the New Year, and the time when everyone talks about new resolutions. I don’t usually make any because I end up breaking them anyway (ha!), but this year I’m resolving to be sober-minded yet full of hopeful anticipation in these coming months. Whatever is in our path, I know God is fully aware of it, and if we lean on Him He will equip us in His perfect way with what we need, when we need it.