We had a cruise to the Bahamas scheduled, my first one ever, and the day before we were to go I realized my birth certificate wasn’t in the file where I thought it was. Everyone else’s were, and all the rest of my documents, including my old expired passport, were, but not my birth certificate. Which meant I wasn’t allowed to get on the boat. So we didn’t get to go.
Were you ever put on restriction when you were growing up because you did something wrong, and everyone else got to go to the birthday party, or the theme park, or the movie, and you had to stay home? Oh, the profound disappointment and embarrassment - you know, the kind that hits you right down in the pit of your stomach. And the questions like, what if I had just not backtalked my mom, or snuck out that night, or gotten the D on my math test, or whatever else that had caused the punishment. Well, that’s how I felt about this cruise. If I had just checked a week or even a couple of days before to make sure, I could have been early enough to get a birth certificate copy, or even get a renewed passport. But there was nothing I could do. So the ship sailed without us. And I felt doubly worse because it wasn’t just my vacation that was ruined, it was my dear husband’s as well.
So, needless to say, the last couple of days haven’t been the happiest of my life. But our sweet babysitter took our kids for the day yesterday anyway, and now they are spending the night with my parents, so my husband and I have had some time to spend together, even if it’s not Away.
I woke up this morning to a beautiful day and we decided we didn’t want to stay inside on a day like this, so we got ready to run some errands. I love bright colors, but if you went and looked in my closet right now, you could hardly tell. My clothes are mostly neutral and darker sort-of colors, with a few shirts that are bright. And mostly it’s because I’m afraid to stand out. Silly, huh? But today I decided what I wore needed to be colorful because my mood wasn’t, so I put on a pair of pink capris I had originally bought to wear on the cruise. My husband loved them. And you know what? I kinda liked walking around in them, too. So we walked into Walgreens to pick up some things, and I saw a pink wide-brimmed hat. I put it on to be kinda silly, but my husband, who doesn’t usually have much to say about things I wear, complimented it and wanted me to buy it, especially because it went so well with my pink pants. So, I bought it.
You know, I’ve always seen people who wear bright clothes, and especially hats, and wish sometimes that I could be that kind of person. And it suddenly hit me - why shouldn’t I be? What am I so afraid of?
So I wore it when we decided to go to the plant nursery to look for trees for our backyard. And I had fun. No one else was wearing a pink hat today, or pink pants, but I didn’t care. I felt fresh and springy and fun. And my day got a little better because my attitude changed because I was wearing a pink hat and pink capris, even though I wasn’t on vacation.
And it makes me wonder - how often have I actually made myself more of an unjoyful person because of little choices I make, or don’t make, because I’m afraid? And when I’m unhappy, it can spread to my family, or anyone else who is around, and the guilt of everyone else’s unhappiness makes me even more unhappy. Now, I realize that wearing a pink hat doesn’t fix all my problems, but why not make the little choices that might help me to at least start out with a better outlook or demeanor? The choices that, interestingly enough, allow me to be more of the person God created me to be, so maybe His light has a chance to shine through?
Funny the things God can use to get a little Truth across, even a pair of pink capris. And the Truth will set us free...